“So I was watching USA Network’s Burn Notice last night and…”
“You were watching what?”
The bar was dark and smoke filled, the lights barely able to illuminate the posters on the walls, much less give any direction as to where the voice was coming from.
“Burn Notice.”
“That new show?”
“Well, actually, I wasn’t watching it.”
“Then what were you doing?”
“I was starring in it.”
The man talking was a grungy 40-something Generation-X’er looking gentleman, a Martini in one hand and a cigarette in the other. I leaned closer, looked him in the eyes, and mouthed the words “what are you talking about” but I don’t think he heard me.
“It’s a television show that documents my life. There are cameras in this very bar. Right now, we’re filming an unscripted episode for Sweeps Week. You’ll co-star.”
“I don’t…”
“No, it’s okay. Because you know what? I got fired, and there’s reason I can’t shoot an unscripted episode for the network. They’ll pay us. Big time.”
I got up, but he grabbed me by the arm.
“What are you doing?”
“Sit.” he said to me. “Just sit back down and relax. Look, I’ll help you. All you have to do is look me in the eyes and tell me that everything is going to be okay.”
“Umm…”
“Do it!”
I looked him in the eyes, trying not to cringe. His grip grew tighter on my arm.
“Everything’s… going to be okay.”
“Do you want to know?”
“Do I want to know what?”
“How I got fired?”
“Umm… sure.”
“They put it online. They’re putting everything we’re saying right this minute online.”
“Who are… they?”
He got up and began to walk away.
“They…”
He disappeared into the darkness. Five seconds later, the bar tender came over.
“I have something for you.” He barked at me.
Cringing, I reached out and took the slip of paper from his outstretched hand.
“It’s the tab.”