The above image is not work safe.
2005 has arrived. In both the physical sense and the fact that it’s here, whether we like it or not.
And in 7 years, we can all say goodbye to the planet Earth. Because according to the Mayans - I don’t know if anybody has heard this or not - a great catastrophe falls upon the Earth every 2500 years or so. And this is our time - the age of Aquarius, the bringer of the waters to cleanse the earth of whatever needs to be cleansed, is upon us.
Pisces, the age we were just in, was the age of the fish. Draw your own conclusions from whatever sources you may want to draw them from. Coincidental that Jesus worked many miracles with fish.
So we are moving away from the healing powers of the age of Pisces and moving towards the cleansing powers of the age of Aquarius. Supposedly the last tribulation - if that’s the word, I’m sure it’s not - of God.
So it’s end times - or something similar.
But back to the Mayans. They predicted everything - supposedly - that is going on right now. They have these things they built and they somehow knew that the earth spins on a certain axis and they somehow knew that the stars in the sky today would be there exactly where they are today. And they did all of this 2500 years ago.
I work with this guy - who shall remain nameless - who studied all of this behind a crack rock. Don’t ask questions - I didn’t. So he studied all of this and he found all of this out. What does he do? He goes to rehab so he can straighten himself out and not go to hell when the final atonement is upon us all.
But then again, over the years, through many different religions and groups and movements, we’ve always had end times theories and predictions. Remember all of the hype over y2K? And what happened? A few computers here and there messed up, but we weren’t all doomed to believe we were living in the year 1900.
In case some of you never even heard of the y2k problem - here’s what’s what. Apparently, when the clock struck midnight on the first day of the year 2000, the date format for the computers would go from 99 (1999) to 00 (2000) but the computer would interpret it as 1900 because apparently that’s how they were originally set up. They weren’t built with the ability to see 2000, and would think that it was the year 1900 causing some kind of horrible collapse within the infrastructure of the already very fragile economy.
Not shit happened then. And probably not shit is going to happen now. We’re not doomed to some second coming of God - but I wouldn’t step foot outside of my house when this whole thing doesn’t happen and everyone goes ape shit. Or at least the religious right wing nut jobs with automatic weapons and nothing better to do than inact some inate version of Gods truth upon us with a full clip of armor piercing bullets. A full metal jacket to keep you out of the cold. There’s your truth.
So sit back, relax. We’ve got tickets to the greatest show of all time. And if doesn’t happen - I’m sure there will be something on to watch instead.