Some prime examples of what Craigslist has to offer, full of things that make you wonder just what the hell these people were thinking when they hit the submit button.
“Saw you at the Arts Center on November 4th. You were wearing a white shirt and black pants. You had curly brown hair. You sold me my ticket for the Pharoah exhibit, but I couldn’t see your name tag. You were having Sonic for lunch and I could tell that you really like Sonic.
If fast food is what you’re into, I would love to take you out to dinner sometime. For a princess like you, I’ll even let you order outside of the value menu. I was wearing a green shirt. Our hands brushed as you gave me my change back (6 dollars…) We made a lot of eye contact and I felt something. You said you liked my shirt. This is a long shot, but I hope you remember me.” #
“are you the fat bitch who works at baseline walmart trying to get innocent people arrested? get a real job doing something constructive. maybe something you dont suck at. try getting something outside so you can burn off that extra 300lbs. your tattoos were so fat-stretched you couldnt even make them out properly. you will get much farther in life if you werent such a bitch to everyone. quit your 5.15/hour job and put down the twinkies and maybe one day you will have a life you dont have to be pissed off about. cant wait to see you again next time i gotta go into that hell hole” #
“We met at a party Saturday night in NLR. Your friend left the party without you and you approached me and had me follow you to the bathroom. I would be interested in finishing what we started. Your name starts with a D. Tell me whose house we were at and what color shirt I had on.” #
“I met you in a poppy and rose valley field earlier this year, you said your name was Meathead and you used to hang out with that guy Pedro with the gray neck brace.
After I met you that pig tied you up with rope and a week later we all went to Madrid and there was that angsty running kid who jumped out ha and you both got locked
in that cage and then later the kid tried to fight you or dance with you or something while his dad watched??!?!
Anyways, I got your 1500 live millipedes from Taiwan as well as your giant squid and the helium lambs and I’m just gonna put them in your yard how does that grab you?” #
“Dropped by Twisted for lube today and you gave me head and jacked off while the other guy watched and jacked off also. You had on a white tshirt and glasses.
Would love to have more private fun with you if you are interested.” #
“Hey ya’ll! In search of J. Brooks…don’t wanna say his first name here…but if he reads the ad he’ll know…It’s K. I have no idea if you’ll still in Arkansas or not but its so worth a shot. We lost touch after I ‘retired’.* Umm, let me see…trying to think of things you may remember. Our very first meeting was at ‘the city’.* You came to ‘abs’ while I had margaritas with the other k.* You assembled a peice of furniture for me. Well if any of these things grab your attention, please email me…been looking for you.” #
“Of course I’m looking for you…just kinda shy.
Weren’t you on the planet yesterday?
I was too!
Aren’t you human?
I am too!
We MUST meet.
We may be the only two left.” #