Things that I don’t talk about
Sometimes, when writing for this blog, I’ll find myself, in the middle of a post, hitting the save button, and then never going back to it. More times than not, I’ll forget about it completely until a few months later, when doing Post-Cleanups, and I’ll delete it.
Nine times out of ten, the reasons for this are along the lines of “Well, the post didn’t really have any merit” or “It was poorly written”. But that one time out the ten is more often than not simply because it includes details about either myself or people I know that I simply chose not to publish to the public.
Sometimes I find myself thinking that one of the only places left on this world that still holds any truth to it is, in fact, the internet. It’s funny, though, because it’s the only place left that you can be somebody else.
Sometimes people be these other people and they are made up of nothing but lies – but sometimes these other people are exactly what they see themselves to be. Couldn’t that be considered another form of truth?
Our society teaches us many things. It teaches us that being unique is what makes us us. It teaches us that no matter what, we should always be ourselves. We should be true to whatever makes up who we are, and that we should not compromise our positions on anything.
On the other hand, it rewards us for conforming, that pack mentality is healthy, and that sometimes blindly following a leader is OK.
I am who I am. I am not anybody else but myself. My thoughts are my own, and my actions are not without consequence. But I will not deny the fact that my thought are only my own because there were others before me who were able to make them my own. I will not deny the fact that my actions only have consequences because there were others before me who acted in the same manner, and dealt with the same consequences.
There are plenty of things in my life that I do not talk about. (A period of about 4-5 years, to be exact.) Not because I’m ashamed of them. Not because I am afraid of the consequences. Not because they hold no merit.
I don’t talk about these things simply because talking about them will help no-one.
An example would be that you put something in motion that caused something to happen. Whether that something is good or bad, you caused it to happen. Talking about it as current events would be helpful – because the cause and the effect are noticeable. They are there to be seen.
Same example, only instead of just happening, it’s a series of events tracing back over a half-decade of cause and effect. You can talk about it – but it does nothing.
I don’t know what my years of hospitalization and therapy actually accomplished. I don’t know what my felonies and the consequences of those actions actually accomplished. I don’t know what my years and years of going against authority actually accomplished. Or didn’t accomplish, for that matter.
The only thing I know is that there are reasons people don’t talk about things, and there are reasons people keep things to themselves.
It’s not because they’re ashamed – it’s simply because they can. And the ability not to talk about something is just as powerful as the ability to talk about something.
The only difference being – knowing when it actually helps, and when it’s just a waste of words.
